A Prank Gone Bad
by Phoenix0725
Summary: Where Ace has the worst luck in the world when it comes to pranks.


_**This is my first submission for the opreversebang. I worked with the amazing Nuro-chan (Tumblr). Go check out the art because it's really, really gorgeous (It's also currently being used as the cover for this fic - with permission, of course).**_

 _ **Warnings: Injuries, swearing**_

 _ **Also, I forgot to get this beta'd (oops...), so beware of typos and possibly a few mistakes.**_

* * *

"Ace, where are you?"

Ace froze the second he heard Sabo's voice calling for him. It was calm. Too calm. The kind of calm that made you want to get away from a person as fast as you could.

And that's what Ace did. He snuck out of their treehouse, hoping Sabo wouldn't see him, and started running through the forest. Unfortunately, for Ace, Sabo did catch a glimpse of him in passing, and the thud of footsteps behind him told Ace that he was being chased.

Ace looked around for some sort of hiding place, a grin rising to his face. There were no caves around, but as always, he was surrounded by plenty of trees. He could always climb one of those and hope that Sabo didn't notice him. Of the three of them, Ace was the best climber. He could scale the tallest trees within seconds with ease.

That was how he found himself scrambling up one of the most difficult trees to climb in the area. Making himself comfortable on one of the branches, Ace waited for Sabo to get there.

He didn't have to wait long. Sabo raced by in a flurry of blue, Luffy close behind. Just when Ace thought he was safe to get back down to solid ground, Luffy came bounding back into his field of vision. Ace watched as he looked around suspiciously before suddenly turning to look straight at him.

"Sabo, I found him!" Luffy yelled, and Ace slapped his face with his hand. Luffy never did know how to keep quiet. Oh well. The harm had already been done. Ace just watched as Sabo came running back.

"Where is he?" he asked, looking around suspiciously. Luffy pointed up at him, and Ace fought not to scowl.

"He's up there!" Luffy yelled. Sabo looked up, and the second he caught sight of Ace, he glared at him.

"Portgas D Ace. Come down from there, we need to talk." Ace cocked his head to the side, as though to ask what it was exactly that they need to talk about.

"I think that I'm going to stay up here. I quite like it the branch is comfortable," Ace said, smoothing his hand over the rough bark of the tree. "What did you want to talk about?" Ace asks in the most innocent tone of voice he can manage. It doesn't really turn out as innocent as he had hoped. Luffy probably wouldn't have noticed because he was gullible like that, but nothing got past Sabo.

"You know perfectly well what I want to talk about," Sabo said, glare getting darker by the second. He was a real sight to behold. Ace had rarely seen him so angry. He looked just about ready to murder someone, which really was saying something, considering Sabo was only ten years old.

"No, I really don't," Ace said, shaking his head, but not daring to take his eyes off Sabo standing there at the base of the tree, shaking with fury.

"You washed my clothes with swamp water. _Swamp_! Do you have any idea how much my shirt _stinks_? Not to mention my pants!" Sabo shouted up at him, and Ace couldn't take it any longer, he started laughing. He laughed so hard that tears started swimming in his eyes, and his stomach started hurting. Of course, Sabo, seeing no humor in the situation, got even angrier. Luffy, meanwhile, was flitting his gaze from Ace to Sabo, obviously confused with the situation.

"Ace, you are dead!" Sabo shouted up at him, and rushing to scramble up the tree. Unfortunately, he wasn't as good at it as Ace, so he didn't get far before having to go back down. Ace laughed again, but quickly stopped in favor of sticking his tongue out at Sabo and raising his right hand to his forehead, touching his nose with his thumb, and sticking up his pointer and middle fingers. Sabo growled ( _growled_! Ace would tease him about it later) before looking around for something, anything, that would help him scale the tree. Only a few seconds passed before he noticed a vine hanging from the tree branch Ace was on. Gripping it tightly and pulling on it to make sure that it's secure, Sabo turned back to Luffy, who was still looking at the both of them, bemused.

"Luffy, you might want to look somewhere else for a while. And block your ears. You won't want to hear this," Sabo said without taking his eyes off Ace, whose grin was slowly slipping off his face. Luffy blinked once, twice, before kneeling down on the ground and starting to dig a small hole. Ace and Sabo watched in befuddlement as Luffy stuck his head into the ground.

Well, that was one way of making sure that he couldn't hear nor see them. They'd long since learned not to question whatever weird things Luffy did.

That done, Sabo wrapped the end of the vine around his shoulder and started climbing on the tree. Ace, not sparing Luffy another glance, got up and looked around for somewhere else to go, because he really, really didn't want Sabo to catch him. Who knew what Sabo would do?

It wasn't the first time Ace had pranked him (although it was usually Sabo who started this little war of theirs) and it would most definitely not be the last. Unless, you know, Sabo really meant it when he said he'd kill Ace. Washing his clothes with swamp water had seemed like a good idea at the time. Besides, Ace had already told Sabo on numerous occasions that he really hated washing clothes, so this was payback for making him do that one chore. He should have done it himself - after all, they were his clothes! _Ace_ wasn't the one who'd dirtied them with blood from one of the animals they'd hunted. Besides, the swamp water hadn't been _all_ bad. Sure, it stank a little, but at least Ace had had the decency to make sure that there was no mud caking the clothes after he'd "washed" them. They were a slightly darker shade of blue than they usually were, but they were still wearable.

Well, mostly. Unless Sabo was _really_ bothered by the smell, which it would seem he was. But it wasn't that bad. At least, Ace didn't think so. The Gray Terminal smelled worse, and they seemed to spend the better part of most of their days there. Heck, they spent their days picking through _trash_ of all things, so Sabo really shouldn't be bothered by the smell of his clothes.

Still, Sabo looked just about ready to murder him. Not wasting another second, Ace pushed himself up and jumped onto another branch of a nearby tree. Just in time, too, because Sabo had just reached the branch Ace had been sitting on a few seconds ago.

"Get back here!" Sabo shouted. Ace merely grinned and shook his head. Sparing one more quick glance at Luffy, he ran off through the trees, jumping onto a branch here, swinging on a vine there. All in all, it was fun, if maybe the slightest bit dangerous. Not more dangerous than some of the other things they did, but dangerous nonetheless. There was always a chance that he could slip, fall, and break his neck, and wouldn't _that_ be sad. Still, the thought didn't deter him the slightest.

It really should have though, because when, at one point of his escape, he turned back to look at Sabo, his foot landed on the branch all wrong and _twisted_. Unable to get a grip on anything, Ace fell.

The world swirled around him in a flurry of greens and browns and… was that blue? The wind roared in his ears as he approached the ground, getting closer and closer to it with each passing second. He tried to somehow right himself while he was midair so that he at least wouldn't fall on his head. He only succeeded in covering the aforementioned body part with his arms before he hit the ground with a loud thud.

All of a sudden, everything hurt. His head, though it had been shielded, was pounding, and there was this odd ringing in his ears. His legs hurt when he tried to move them, as did his chest with every breath.

He was never going to wash Sabo's clothes with swamp water again, not if it ended like this. Despite the ringing, Ace heard someone's voice. It seemed familiar, but he couldn't quite place his finger on it at the moment. He opened his bleary eyes, unaware that he'd even closed them, in an attempt to look around. Unfortunately, despite the fact that he was no longer falling, the colors were still all jumbled up and he couldn't make out any definite outlines. It was all blurry, like when the rain got into his eyes sometimes.

"-ce. Oh my goodness, Ace, are you alright?!" Someone demanded, shaking his shoulders softly. Ace tried to tell them to stop, that it hurt too much, but the sound came out as no more than a groan. The person (and it sounded suspiciously like Sabo) moved his hands around, but didn't touch him.

"Oh no. Oh nonono. This cannot be happening. This did not just happen. Come on, get up!" Sabo finally touched him. Despite the confused haze Ace was in, he could feel Sabo's cool touch on his shoulder. The contact somehow seemed to help, because after blinking a few more times, he could finally make out the expression on Sabo's face.

He looked concerned. Verging on very, very worried. Ace tried to push himself up off the ground, but that failed when his left arm collapsed under him, and his eyesight went all blurry again. He probably wouldn't be trying that again in a while, because ouch - that had hurt. Maybe his arm was broken. He'd broken bones before. Not anything serious, thankfully. Just a finger here or there. Dadan and the other bandits had always managed to patch him up just fine. He'd never even had to see an actual doctor.

His thoughts were starting to go in weird directions. Maybe something was wrong with his head? That fall must have done a fair amount of damage. He'd had worse in his life, of course, but still. _Ow._ It hurt.

Ace lifted his left hand (the one that seemed to be more or less alright) and brought it up to touch the place where his head hurt the most. He winced as he felt the sore spot, and quickly moved his hand back. He brought it close to his face when he caught a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. He was bleeding. Ace groaned. He blinked and pushed himself back a bit when someone started waving a hand in front of his face.

He let his eyes trail over the hand, to the wrist, the blue sleeves, and then, finally, to Sabo's face. Right. Ace had forgotten that he was here.

"Can you hear me?! Ace, come on! Say something!" Ace brought his hand to his ear and covered it.

"Not so loud," he moaned. He saw Sabo's shoulders sag with relief. That relief was, however, short-lived, because the next second he started raking his eyes over Ace's body, clearly trying to assess the damage. Personally, Ace didn't think it was too bad. His head hurt, his eyesight sucked, his arm was probably broken, but really, _it wasn't that bad_. Sabo, didn't seem to agree, because he was still looking at Ace in concern. And, if Ace was right, a fair amount of guilt. He didn't understand what Sabo had to feel guilty about, but he wasn't going to ask. His muddled brain probably wouldn't be able to make much sense of it anyway.

"Help me get up," he said, holding out his good hand. Sabo looked sceptical, but relented and pulled him up. Ace rushed forward as he staggered to his feet, but Sabo caught him before he could fall. He put Ace's arm around his shoulder and, sparing him one last glance, he started moving in the direction of… He didn't really know where they were going. He seemed to have lost any and all knowledge of the terrain. There was, however, one thought that had firmly planted itself in his head and refused to be uprooted.

"Where's Luffy?" Ace asked. The last he'd seen of Luffy, he'd had his whole head in the ground, and Ace was slowly starting to get concerned. Not with Luffy's physical state, mind you, but with his mental state. He might not know much about things like that, but he was pretty sure that stuffing your head underground wasn't something normal people did. Not that he was one to talk.

Sabo opened his mouth to say something, probably to answer Ace's question, but at that moment, Luffy decided to burst through the trees. Before either Ace or Sabo had the time to ask him what was going on, he rushed past them and started yelling something neither of them could make out. Sabo and Ace glanced at each other in question, and Sabo finally glanced around to see what it was that had had Luffy running.

That was the fastest he'd ever seen Sabo's skin pale. He started pulling Ace along at an even quicker pace. They weren't far from Dadan's cottage anymore (because _of course_ that's where Sabo had decided to take him!). Just a bit further now. A few more footsteps, and they'd be in the clear.

Judging by the look on Sabo's face, they weren't going to make it, and even if, by some miracle, they _did_ , that still wouldn't get rid of the tiger. Ace wouldn't put it past the tiger to circle around the house and try to wait them out. The animals on this island were mean like that.

Sabo pushed them both forward, his movements more frantic by the second. All of a sudden, everything went dark. Ace looked at the ground to see a giant tiger-shaped shadow in front of him. The tiger looked ready to lunge.

They wouldn't make it. Ace could see Sabo move to push him away, hoping to get at least one of them to safety, but fortunately, it didn't have to come to that.

Dadan and the bandits arrived in the nick of time and dealt with the tiger, while Ace was left looking at Sabo, the last tendrils of fear still holding on to him.

"Never again," Ace said, voice unusually quiet. "I'm never pranking anyone ever again."

Sabo just mutely shook his head.

* * *

"And that, my friend, is why I am not going to help you prank Marco," Ace said. He moved to grab the bottle of rum next to him and took a long swig from it. It was good rum. Nothing like that cheaper stuff he used to get back when he was still the captain of his own crew. Although that was mostly because they didn't have the funds to spare on too much alcohol.

Thatch, who was sitting next to him, pouted.

"But that was a one-time thing, Ace! It was a fluke! Just a bunch of bad luck! Absolutely nothing to do with the prank. Come on, don't tell me you don't want to do something to cheer Marco up!" Thatch encouraged him, but Ace wasn't listening to him. Maybe it had been a bunch of bad luck, but the whole experience had scarred him for life. He wasn't planning on repeating it, no matter how much Thatch tried to convince him.

"You have a very, very twisted definition of cheering someone up," he grumbled, lifting the bottle of rum to his lips again, and frowning when he found it empty. He swiped Thatch's bottle from his hands, ignoring Thatch's indignant squawk, and took another swig. The alcohol burned and made him feel lightheaded. It was nice.

"I, as well as a few others, happen to like this particular definition of cheering someone up. Besides, it's not like you have anything better to do. And you've seen how tired Marco's been lately. He needs something to take his mind off all of that paperwork, to liven him up a little," Thatch said, obviously still hoping that he could convince Ace to help them. Ace just shook his head.

"I swear, the lot of you must have a death wish or something. Marco's willing to roast you for pranking him on a good day. I don't even want to know what he'd do if you tried anything right now." He actually felt bad for Thatch and Haruta, who would most likely be his partner in crime. He was sure that if Marco caught them, he'd do everything just short of killing them.

Then again, going by how stressed he seemed to be lately, maybe he _would_ kill them, if only to get the out of his skin once and for all.

Ace shook his head. The alcohol was getting to him, he was sure. He didn't think that Marco would kill Thatch and Haruta, not really. Assign them a shit load of duties usually meant for crew members who weren't Division Commanders? Probably. Throw them overboard (and ruin Thatch's hair - and won't _that_ be a tragedy)? Definitely.

"Besides," Ace continued. "He probably wouldn't be half as stressed if you didn't keep giving him your paperwork to do. You and Haruta both. It's really not that hard once you get that hang of it." For as long as Ace had known Thatch, he had been giving his paperwork to Marco, complaining that it was black magic or something of the sort, and Haruta had taken to following in Thatch's footsteps, meaning that Marco did three times the amount of paperwork any other division commander did. Sometimes, Ace wondered whether or not he should help him, but the sight of the gigantic pile of papers usually scared him off.

"Why would I want to get the hang of it, if Marco could do it for me?" Thatch joked, but he withered when Ace glared at him. "Alright, fine. So maybe I _could_ do it myself, if I really wanted to. But Marco would get bored if he had nothing to do, you know. I'm actually saving us all from him." _All of us except for yourself_ , Ace wanted to say. Despite the fact that Marco was too nice and too responsible not to do (or occasionally, when Thatch actually did something, _correct_ ) the paperwork, sometimes he still got mad at Thatch, which led to a few days of Thatch being ignored and trying to apologize. Actually, being ignored was the best that could happen.

Ace sighed. He was tired, but he knew that there was nothing he could do to get Thatch off his back about the whole pranking thing.

"You know, I guess I could give you a few ideas for pranks, but I will not help you, no matter what you try to do to convince me otherwise," he decided. A compromise it would be, because he'd never have another second of peace if he didn't at least promise to help with _something_.

Thatch grinned widely. He held out his hand and said, "It's a deal." Ace looked at the hand, hesitating for a second before grabbing it, because really, there was no telling where that hand had been.

"Deal," Ace repeated.

He really hoped that his streak of bad luck with pranks wasn't going to extend to Thatch or anything.

* * *

Of course, Ace could not have been more wrong.

The day had started out like any other. He got up late, ate a healthy breakfast, and went to get something for his hangover. It was calm on the Moby Dick. There were no storms, no sea monsters trying to attack them, nothing. A very, very calm day indeed.

It couldn't last.

He'd grabbed a chocolate bar from the kitchen and had been about to go up to the crow's nest to get some more sleep when he heard shouts. Ace couldn't, however, for the life of him guess who those shouts were coming from. They were incredibly shrilly, and he had no idea what could cause a pirate on Whitebeard's ship to scream like that.

One minute, the deck was empty, the next, there were two people being chased by this big, blue… thing. It was moving too fast for Ace to make out what it was, exactly. The figures in front of it, however, he could recognize with relative ease. Thatch and Haruta were running away from the thing, side by side, covered in blue feathers. Unfortunately for them, the thin following them seemed spread its wings (it was a bird, then) and launched itself into the air. It caught up to them in no time at all.

It was only when he saw a simplified version of the Whitebeard Pirates Jolly Roger on the bird's chest that he realized who it was.

Marco.

It would appear that Thatch and Haruta had gone through with the prank, and Marco caught them, just like Ace knew he would. He watched as Marco grabbed the back of Thatch's shirt with one talon, and Haruta's with the other, and flew up high into the air. Then, he promptly dropped the each of them so that they were hanging from the mast. Thatch shouted - and at least now Ace knew who the voice from earlier belonged to - and started begging Marco to let him down, saying that he was afraid of heights, which Ace knew was a lie. Marco knew it, too, apparently. He landed on the mast and transformed back into his human form. He then said something to both Thatch and Haruta that had them both going pale.

Ace decided that he'd seen enough. Enough of this particular scene, at least. Curiosity drove him to going to Marco's room. He wondered whether Thatch had actually gone through with his suggestion, or whether he'd come up with something else.

The door to the room was wide open. Ace hesitated for one second before mustering up the courage to look inside.

It was a wreck. Thatch _had_ listened to Ace's idea, but he'd gone a tad bit overboard. The blankets and pillows on Marco's bed had been arranged into something resembling a nest. There were so many of them that Ace was sure Thatch and Haruta had scrounged a few from the supplies closet or something. That wasn't even the worst of it, though. In the middle of the bed were three eggs, painted in various shades of blue and yellow. The whole thing was covered in layers upon layers of blue feathers.

Ace honestly had no idea where they'd gotten all of these things. Blue feathers? They'd have to have bought them some time long ago, probably meaning to use them for a prank, but unsure of what exactly they should do with them. Still, though. Why had they bought so many?!

Not that he was complaining. The setup was great. Anyone passing by the room would have had thought that Marco had some avian habits or something. A nest, blue feathers, eggs…

Wait, was that a sack of birdseed in the corner of the room?

Just as Ace was about to take his first step into the room, he heard someone clear their throat behind him. Ace turned around quickly. Marco was standing behind him, one of his eyebrows raised in question.

"I was just passing by," Ace said. He stood in front of Marco for a few more seconds, before promptly turning on his heel and walking away to his own room.

"Hey, Ace?"

Ace stopped in his tracks when Marco called his name. His heart was pounding in his chest. He guessed that it probably had something to do with the fact that he was an accomplice in this.

"Yeah?" he asked. His instincts were telling him to get as far away from Marco as possible.

"Do you know who gave them this idea?" Marco asked. Out of the corner of his eye, Ace saw him jerk his thumb in the direction of his room. "Thatch wouldn't come up with something like this by himself."

"No idea," Ace said, his voice sounding suspiciously high, even to his own ears.

"Right," Marco said, before turning around and going into his room. Ace waited until he shut the door before he broke into a run and headed for his own room - his one safe haven on this ship.

No more pranks. Never again. His heart wouldn't be able to bear it.

A few hours later, he got out of his room to go find Thatch. Thatch was still hanging from the mast, obviously not knowing how to get down. Ace approached him and looked up.

"I told you so."

Thatch merely nodded.


End file.
